Saturday, December 20, 2008

The one where I take my hat off to a fellow sci-fi fan...

I asked on a mothering message board- who would win in a fight- the Borg (from Star Trek) or the Replicators (from Stargate). And wanted to post one friends answer here because it is just oh so insightful.

First my intial post:
Who would win in a fight the Borg or the Replicators?
Yes I am that much of a sci-fi nerd. Last night dh and I were discussing whether Stargate, Star Trek and Star Wars could all exist together. We decided that Star Wars could coexist with either of the other two universes due to the fact that it takes place in a galaxy far far away, but that Stargate and Star Trek could not coexist, because the Vulcans would have broken their unemotional pacist tradition and laughed their behinds off at the Go'ulds just before destroying them. Anyway that led to a discussion of whether Kirk could take down the Go'ulds, and what a crummy star fleet officer O'Neill would have made. Before long dh could not stand my geekiness and decided not to discuss with me who would win in an all out battle- the Borg or the Replicators. When I told him I would take it to my message board- he said that you would laugh at me and the fact that I would even think of starting a thread like this shows what a nerd I am. So who would be left at the end of a big intergallatic battle- the Borgor the Replicators.

Now the response to end all responses:

Replicators. The Borg are hauling around the baggage of all those people whose lives they destroyed--all that excess organic matter AKA people they plugged into the system, all that extra space required to let bipedal components clomp around their big ships. Then there's the emotional baggage, as witness Freaky Mostly Spine Lady who took time off in the middle of a battle to try to snag herself a gigolo. Also their filing system is worse than Microkludge's. "We will add your uniqueness to our own" means in practice "We will swipe your weapons and defensive systems and toss everything else into a gigantic data file that none of us will ever read because we don't care about music, cookery, politics, p----, and all the other stuff you had circulating on your version of the World Wide Web before we ate you." Come on, their operating system is such a mess that some of their own components can actually download themselves into a hidden server and play in a virtual world the rest of the Borg don't even know exists! (For people who missed those eps, that's Unimatrix Zero, where Borg whose conscious minds are still active can meet other Borg ditto in a kind of Holodeck situation where they get to look normal, while their Borgified bodies are off doing whatever the Collective wants them to do. When last we saw Unimatrix Zero it had in fact been discovered and shut down, but that can't last. The problem with assimilating everybody on a planet with advanced data technology is, you are invariably going to get a bunch of hackers. And some of them will be the kind whose minds can't be entirely shut off. And they will not like you. You took away their Internets!)Compare the Replicators. All they do is make more of themselves. Quickly and in the face of all opposition. They are the Ebola virus of evil robot things. They don't die because no part of them is alive. They consume everything they touch. And they don't ever get distracted.


1 comment:

Samji said...

Yes, i think that does say it all :)